Today...

 on the walk home from collecting one of the wee people from school, the 3 and a bit year old decided to do the whole John Cleese, ministry of funny walks gig, with wild abandon, a huge grin on his face and loads of giggles from him, and us....

it's not the norm here, of course... but then so much of what we do isn't, that we're pretty much past caring what people think and we just let the kid get on with things in his own peculiar way...

on a later walk home, we were following a few sheep, one of which was doing it's own peculiar walk... which gave me  a slight fit of the giggles... and the 9 year old, complete with very heavy backpack, walked the rest of the way home singing, something about a sheep, moving one way and it's tail moving another, with some interesting drumlike sound effects and not a little swaying this way and that from her... which could have been because of the very heavy school
bag but I'm not totally convinced!

Again, we drew a few stares, which to be honest appeals to the Britishness in us and just made us a bit more giggly...  

It was on my almost last school run of the day, whilst being blown hither and thither in the market, that I mused over how immodest the wind is, and that I'm not keen on my hijab being blown all over the show when I'm least expecting it...(my personal ploy is to turn around and walk backwards for a bit, which my daughters tell me looks a bit weird here but what the heck, in for a penny in for a pound I say!)  anyway this led to another fit of the giggles when dd21 suggested that it made us humble hijabis look like we have  jumpsuits on when the wind blows at us full throttle and mercilessly moulds every inch of fabric to every lumpy bump you possess....

we have a fair number of giggly walks...and I sometimes think it's a shame that I don't see enough Algerians embracing the giggly bits of life.... 

sometimes the reality of how different we are as a family hits me when I least expect it, and I know alot of sisters struggle with the divide. But the more I dare to be myself, the more I realise how accomodating Algerians are... and if they look sideways at me today for being a bit giggly about silly stuff they wouldn't bother to crack a smile for, they'll hardly bat an eyelid
 when they catch me doing it next time...

Weekending...

So it's Friday already.. the day of the week I've been waiting for with relish... it's the day for letting go and just being...
No rainy, cold, drizzly walk to school... no breakfast too early for appetite... a chance to wake slowly and enjoy the warmth of the covers for a while longer before facing the chill..

The beds are all still down in our communal sleeping space, the big boys have taken themselves off to the tutors, and I'm thinking about what I might do with this day of ours.

I hate planning... I fly by the seat of my pants these days, taking life as it comes at me. And on the odd day when neccesity makes me scrawl a to-do list I can only work in brief stages.. planning the next hour or two ahead... no more.

It's a challenge for at least one of my children, who is an organizer, a naturally neat and ordered person who needs to know what's happening ahead of time... all the time.
I try to accommodate everyone in my house, but there are just some things about yourself you can't change... and this for me is one of them.

So my day is starting slowly... it's raining outside, it's cold enough for me to think about lighting the fire inside once all the mattresses are up and out of the way... the 3 yr old is awake and happy to have found that we've brought the kittens (newly born four days ago to a slightly slapdash mama cat!) into the sitting room during the night... it was far too cold upstairs and one of her brood has already lost the struggle for life.

Someone else has gone to put the kettle on the stove for tea, and the first wash of the day has just started tumbling about in the machine... it's a low impact kind of day... no need to rush about making sure lunch is on time... there are enough lentils from yesterday to suffice... perhaps I'll throw some bread dough in a bowl and let it sit on the fire to prove in this all purpose winter room of ours... sometimes I kinda wish we had a wood burner set in the middle or could at least bring the primus stove in here ...

And then I remember it's Friday.. and I need to put pans of water on the stove for Friday showers... and that  I need to plug in the emergency power because the rain did seep into the electrics again and we need light in the bathroom...

The 3 yr old has settled himself down next to the kittens under the fully loaded clothes horse, some of the others are watching the last bits of a film... HOOK I think...

It's a nice start to a weekend which might deteriorate at some point into siblings screaming at one another... the 3 yr old doing what he does best and creating all kinds of havoc, and me screaming at the 14 yr old in my life to clear his room up... it currently looks like a hurricane it it.

The day of course, will be punctuated several times over by prayer, and hopefully some Qur'an.. the nearly 9 yr old has started blessing us with her very own unique Qur'an recital skills.. and as a mother I'm happy to hear the happiness in her voice as she belts out verse after verse... the others of course are different.. siblings don't have the same tolerance levels as peaced out mums....

Breakfast is nearly here... the eldest has made crepes while I've been sitting here... the 12 yr old is about to brave the rain to buy butter... the 3 yr old has been crawling around on the floor pretending to be a cat... and  most of our mattresses are still dotted about the floor... it's time to start.

Time to do something slow, yet constructive... to think about grabbing my knitting bag at some point today too and getting on with that cardigan...

Here is some of our week in pictures....

rain rain, go away.....

it's been raining for over a week now, incessant and dismal and very, very heavy.
I've said it before I'm sure, but there is nothing like Algerian rain.. it's relentless. I spent the majority of last week wet.. and muddy. and sleeping with my family in our living room to get away from the leaky upper level of our house. But we haven't flooded yet so this I tell myself is a bonus. We needed the rain.. in fact about half an hour before it started a couple of our local mosques prayed Salat-al-Istisqah.. which is basically a plea for rain.. it worked.. I was standing outside the school when the heavens opened and the rain came down, and it's hardly stopped since.

It's at times like this that I have to remind myself why I came here. Why I put up with the sub standard housing, the mud, dust and bugs...This time last year I was almost booking tickets to go back to the UK, so I guess there's been some kind of an improvement because it hasn't got that bad for me yet this year...

Hijrah does get easier for people. I see the evidence in how other people are living, but then maybe I'm only seeing the surface... who knows how hard it is for people really and how much they divulge about the difficulties of living here. I have yet to see it in my own life.. but we march on regardless... getting through the day and making the best of what we have, and don't have.

Lately I've begun to supplement the 8yr olds schooling ...  trying to weave into this life of ours some of the homeschooling lifestyle we left behind. So we've been reading ALOT... Roald Dahl is what she's loving at the moment and me, doing the grand high Witch complete with German accent is making her super giggly. She's also doing some Math drills online to try and get to grips with the speed at which lessons move in this country. And slowly, very slowly she's recognizing words in English and reading them on her own.

It's been a strange learning curve for her. Her first spoken language is English, but she's so fluent in Algerian derdja that English has become a language she only uses if she has to... She can't read English yet, she learnt to read Arabic first and is learning to read French before attempting to read English in any determined way. So the pace is slow, sometimes too slow for Algerian teachers and she's fallen behind her classmates a little. But this happens in the life of the multi-lingual child. And while I patiently sit by waiting for her brain to filter all the languages and make sense of it all, knowing that eventually it will all settle and make sense to her, the teachers here are not so forward thinking. I console myself with the fact that school will be out by the end of May most probably this year and that we can settle down in the summer to some home-ed unschooling style and do what comes most naturally to us all.

And we're embracing simplicity. Sometimes due to neccesity, but also from choice.
We live a pretty frugal, simple life anyway... we're minimalist from habit and don't have alot of the "stuff" that other folk have. But this year I was determined to set myself a challenge and make this my year of living sunnah. embracing from it what I could and living my Islam more holistically.

Which is why I started the New Year quietly... keeping myself slightly at arms length. Putting it all into perspective and taking slow, purposeful steps. I have hermit tendencies, and I'm standing slightly further back all the time,  no longer trying to find the place where I'll fit but content at last with the fact  that I never will and feeling comfortable with it.

And the rest of the day ahead?
Well the rain is falling... upstairs is leaking and out of bounds. Outside my window the mountains have disappeared into a grey cloudy haze and are no longer visible and I have all of the children in the sitting room trying to stay warm and not get on each other nerves. We were supposed to go to the doctors today for a routine visit for more meds but we're not brave enough to face the rain today. I'm off to cook, and get some laundry done. Figure out my spending plan for February, decide whether I'm going to plan my menu's next month or not. Get some more knitting done, a chunky scrapbusting scarf for the 3yr old and some of the Shalom Cardi that's coming along so nicely despite a couple of very minor imperfections that I can live with and the 8yr old won't notice. And if you've really been taking notice since my last post you'll have notice that the cardi is no longer destined for the 12yr old... we have a bit of a yarn, needle problem here in Algeria .. not enough different sized needles to suit the yarn weights... and I'm not going to even bother discussing my relationship with Math & Dyscalculia  here and my innability to veer even slightly from the pattern... so the cardi is slightly smaller than it should be but will fit the 8yr old nicely thank you...

Pictures will come eventually, when the rain stops and the Internet connection can take the pace of multi-tasking...

We've come to the end of the two week spring break, fairly unscathed and ready to tackle the last six or so weeks of the school year. There's been some dispute {naturally, it being Algeria}as to when school would finish this year, some saying the beginning of May {yikes!} and some saying the beginning of June. We have elections happening in Algeria in May which means schools will be used as polling stations .. though judging by what Joe Public is saying on the news there's not likely to be much of a turnout! And to mix things up just a little, some teachers called la Grève yesterday, which means some or all or possibly no schools will be out on strike at some point or possibly no point during the term... it's all very organised here you know... 

We also have preparations going on for April 16th which is Yowm-al-Ilm, or Day of Knowledge... unfortunately in dd13's case this means an accapella version of "We Are The World" sung to the rest of the school.... and a play she can't take part in because she's the only girl in her class who wears hijab and "it doesn't look right!"... this meant a kindly discussion on why some people aren't prepared to accept other people differences and be more amenable... I don't think she was convinced by anything I said... being the fragile 13yr old that she is, and I'm pretty sure it's going to continue to be a source of upset till it's over and done with but I guess these are the things that toughen us up and help us grow emotionally. 

As usual our house has been a busy happy mix of things over the holidays, and although we didn't get to go anywhere there were a few catch ups with friends... old and new, settling into a new spring routine... longer daytime hours with Fajr prayers coming in before 5am!! and a more relaxed non-menu planning month for me....

I had slipped back into menu planning over the last two and a bit months, as a way of getting back on track with my budget, and while it worked... for the most part... it has been a relief to let it go again. As a tool it does help me to regain my footing now and again, but I'm happier not having to do it long term if I'm honest. I think it goes too much against my free-flowing ways... it sounds a bit stupid to say my menu plan makes me feel trapped, but it does... I've been a much happier and more spontaneously creative bunny this first week of April.

Budget wise.. I'm thinking up ways of not spending any money.. which isn't easy but I am trying...

Potatoes continue to be a source of annoyance here... still far too overpriced for most people to be able to afford. I'm only buying a Kilo at a time and only feeding them to the dh... the rest of us are exploring carby alternatives and patiently waiting for the price to drop. I have been a good girl though and for the most part have stopped buying bread and have been making my own, and also baking the children school-break snack... which needs some forward planning... not my strong point ... and has meant a few midnight baking sessions but we're getting there. 

And finally... as if I haven't chewed your ears enough with my garbled witterings already.. the crafting is coming along nicely thank you... I very happily had my bag pinned  the other day and have since started a yoga mat bag for the 20yr old....and a doily... I'm thinking of turning them into a table runner type thing. And I'm feeling very kindly towards my sewing pile these days... I haven't actually finished any of it... but there are yummy half finished girly dresses lurking ...

And on that note, there is soup to blitz, pies to make and breakfast to bake... and a very scary laundry pile to tame.

:: THIRTEEN ::

Exam results are looming... it's like staring in to an abyss
I have no idea why Arabs feel the need to make school life so miserable...
Ask almost anyone living in an Arab country and I can almost guarantee they'll tell you how grim and arduous the school year is. It's a seemingly endless round of exams with not much time for studying in-between; which is why the students spend most of what should be crucial learning time, memorizing what they need in order to mentally regurgitate it back on the the page for their exams.

I tell myself, that at least they're studying in Arabic, at least they have a full hifdh programme at the masjid, and at least they're attending almost daily halaqaat...

However, as an ex-homeschooler I can see the effect that a state education has had on my sons, not my daughters...
Two of my daughters have never been to school, were home educated and passed their exams. One of them is still studying for A'levels.
The two younger girls are doing well and are ambitious about succeeding and getting good grades mashallah.
Boys it seems,find it harder to stay on the right track even when given every available means to make it easier...
Boys, the teenage ones in my life at any rate... exasperate me!

We have a two week spring break starting on Thursday... first we have to collect four sets of exam results from three different schools...

I'm planning some Tarbiyyah Islamia in my home during the holiday... it's time to pull some teens back in to line and get a bit more Islamically motivated inshallah....

Wish me well.... it could prove to be a bumpy ride!

:: ELEVEN ::

Since I became a mother I've always made a point of cooking meals from scratch.
Partly because it's more cost effective, but also because it's important for me to know what my children are eating.

I chose to cook from scratch in the UK. In Algeria there is no choice... we do have supermarkets that sell some convenience foods but generally speaking they're overpriced and not too hot on the quality front...

And what's more children really appreciate good old fashioned home cooking.... 

 I'm not the greatest cook, my food is edible... sometimes it's even more-ish ....

The thing that's most satisfying though is the expectation my children have of coming home and knowing something warm and comforting is waiting for them.

Their day is punctuated by family meal times... the walk to school on a cold and dismal wintry day is preceded by something freshly baked and a cup of milky tea....

The school day is interrupted briefly by lunch-time..which they all come home for.

Cooking lunch at 10:30 in the morning isn't always fun... and I'm usually working on auto-pilot till at least midday, but I know they appreciate coming home and finding one of their favourite meals plated up and ready to go.

It's not always easy, knowing that the day will be full of cooking and feeding.. but Alhamdulillah that we're in a position to feed our children healthy and nourishing food...

There are so many children around the globe who for one reason or another won't be nurtured or nourished enough.

Cooking for your family doesn't have to be about putting fancy dishes in front of them... we're not looking for perfection. Home cooking should be an expression of love... finding joy in the mundane, raising it from a simple household task, to an act or worship... feeding others for the sake of Allah and creating your own family traditions.. this is what our children will love us for now, and remember us for in years to come inshallah. It's as much about us putting the time and effort in as anything else... and well I guess it's the job I signed up for!

Happy cooking people

xxx

:: SEVEN ::

This will be my second time writing this post... my fingers got a bit slap happy while I was typing and I accidentally deleted everything... and now, as I sit here listening to the rain lashing against the side of the house I can't for the life of me start piecing that post back together again from what serves as my head...

I know menu planning was in there but after controlling the urge to take a spiteful swipe at my PC by going upstairs to check on the children I'm too cold to think thoughts of budgeting and food and ... well  it'll teach me to make some notes before I even think of approaching the keyboard in future.... 

Suffice it to say (for now at least) that it's going a good deal better this time around... I forced my own hand a little by taping the , menu to the fridge door for all to see... I gave myself less room to flake out and give up.

I even sat myself down this morning and put together another meal plan for the next seven days... 

See, I can be organised and well balanced when I have to..

It's freezing again here... after a full week of beautiful sunshine.. warm enough to have the windows open, the temperature dropped and the rains came down, and I'm shivering... I hate being cold!

if it's as cold as this tomorrow when dh goes away for the weekend... I'm going to drag the kids down for a camp out in the living room for extra warmth inshallah....

And it's the start of the weekend tomorrow inshallah... three of mine have a half day and one of them only has an hour in the afternoon... so it's a mad rush to get all the weekend cleaning out of the way before they all  get home again..... with dh being away it's also an opportunity to slow down a little and catch up on some reading and crafting inshallah.... 

I've also got some plans to spruce up the blog a little... 

What will you be doing this weekend inshallah?

:: THREE ::

This afternoon, dd20 and I ventured out to the market with that young lady up there...

We should have taken the advice of the dh and stayed home because it was literally teeming with people...the place was so jam packed we were shuffling, and for a person who has only just successful mastered the art of walking without tripping over my own two feet, shuffling is not a happy thing!

It was good to have dd8 semi solo for a while... she is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most Algerian of my children. She hardly ever bothers to speak English anymore, even if you speak to her in English she'll reply in her quickfire Algerian derdja. 

She seems to have recovered nicely mashallah from the bang on the head she got the other week.. the stitches are out and all that's left now is to tackle the giant dreadlock that's appeared in her hair... not being able to brush, wash or comb an eight year olds hair has a grim outcome...

Her sister  has been requested for the hair washing job... little madam clearly doesn't trust my hand, and to be honest she's probably right, I'm a wimp when it comes to my children having hurts. I still cant look at the wound and it's almost completely healed over!!

So tomorrow inshallah, at some stage of the day we'll heat her some water, pull out the huge over sized plastic tub that serves as a bath in our house (on account of not actually having a bathroom or hot water) and we'll let her soak away her school day stress and hopefully inshallah some of the accumulated grime from her adventures in non-hair washing... 

We had a good afternoon masha'allah , she wants to do it all again on Tuesday!

As much as I'd like....

to give you something witty and insightful, it just isn't going to happen I'm afraid...
It's late I have brain fog from the little known disorder of, Exam stress by proxy, and any hope of me making sense is simply laughable....

So I'm not going to bother. My children have hit exam week not running but limping I'm afraid... I think my sons may have hit their academic peak on the first day of the first semester. I live in hope.
The girls are approaching exams with the fierce ambition I thought they would... exam week, one way or another gets very feisty in my house.

Friday morning was my light at the end of the tunnel. I get the children out early to their tutors, make sure the house stays quiet enough not to wake the others, and then settle back with a coffee to catch up with some online reading and emails....
Not this morning... we were locked in the house, had to wait to be liberated in time for the children to still make it to their lessons and by then everyone was up and at it so loudly there was no point trying to pretend that my Friday morning ritual was still going to happen.

Malish, tomorrow inshallah is another day....
Want to know what's taken my fancy on line?

Inshallah there'll be some of this goodness going on. I've been meaning to make doughnuts for ages.. it's just the oil that puts me off. I've now found the perfect compromise... naturally I feel duty bound to indulge now.

I'm a real sucker for food blogs with yummy photos

I've been waiting all week to find time to read some of this sisters archives. A beautiful and inspiring read mashallah. As is this mashallah, and I am in awe of my sisters who face life and it's difficulties with such strength and faith in Allah.

And that will probably be all there is time for, between doughnut making, budget planning, making sure the laundry is done before the water gets cut off, producing a couple of meals and trying my very bestest to get them all to revise...
I'll let you know how I get on inshallah.....

I have written this blog post many times over while we were internet free, and now as I sit here, typing with fingers numb from hanging laundry near the terrace, all the news I had prepared to tell you escapes me.

I'm glad to be back online that's for sure. Living in Algeria is challenge enough for me, doing it without any link to the outside world is, I feel, way above and beyond the call of duty.

I've been more or less phoneless over the past two months too, after what seemed like an almost complete
technological meltdown. I have no idea how my sanity was preserved, being holed up with multiple warring offspring during what appears to be a snap cold enough to freeze the bones is enough to send the hardiest of humans to madness and back. To say my house has resembled Bedlam at times over the past few weeks would not be doing it justice.

I think we had a brief school holiday in there somewhere too but life's a bit of a fuzz to be honest. Right now of course I should be doing something productive like baking or more laundry, but I just ventured out to the kitchen to make tea for the 15, 13 & 12 year old who have just come home from the tutors dodging hailstones and I'm too cold to think productive chore type thoughts.

All I do know is, I have a long weekend in front of me and if I'm going to survive it I'm going to need copious amounts of tea and an abundance of munchies. The only downside to this is the munchies will have to be homemade...third world countries haven't yet caught up with the trend in affordable healthy snacks unfortunately.. what we do have either results in tooth-rot, gut-rot or the eventual grissly death of the household budget.
So I'm off to get warm by the stove for a while & get some grown up chores done...


 

:: ONE ::

I had already written this post and was about a sentence and a click away from posting. Then my bubba boy disconected me from the mains.... lovely boy with some seriously male traits way too early


I'll start this time with the WIPS... yarn will make me feel good

it's mostly utility makes at this time of year... apart from my shonky stitchery.

Do  you have something you're bad at but love doing anyway?
I couldn't handsew a straight, even stitch to save my life, but it calms my jagged nerves. 

 

I don't mind that its not the tidiest stiching in the world. It's therapeutic. I need it!

 

The poncho is for DD7. An unheated schoolroom is a grim place to be, and as the children have to wear pink aprons over their everyday clothes for school, our personal compromise is to throw on a poncho.

I'm considering ripping this back and doing a partial restart. I have a pattern forming in my head... and you know what? I think a seven year old has the right to feel special in what they're wearing, and it's just too plain as it is. It's slightly too pink for my liking too but there's nothing I can do about that. 

 

The blanket belongs too DD13. He's a chelsea supporter and I'm a weak willed mother eager to please.

Works for him, doesn't always work for me.

And my happy blanket, which only grows as fast as scrap accmulation allows. I love scrap blankets. they remind me of my mother who always had one growing in her crochet bag. We had them draped over all our beds and furniture to hide the wear and tear long before the days when shabby became chic.

We had a gentle start to the day this morning. Chocolate, tea, the decision to read Jane Austen together and not alot else. I'm declaring December a "be good to ME" month. I'm going to nuture my needs this month, which means nourishing my mind, body and soul insha'allah. It's long overdue.
I'm going to be gentle on myself (and hopefully others) and do things that either uplift my soul, bring me closer to Allah, educate my mind, or nourish my body. It felt good to say those things to myself this morning and I think we need to give ourselves permission to honour our ourselves and our wellbeing.


On the housekeeping front, well... it's day one of a new budget. I've already mentioned in another post that I used to menu plan a week or sometimes a month ahead but found it didn't really suit either the needs of my family or the frequent culinary curve balls my dh likes to throw my way. These days I tend to do a stock up of basic staples and work with whatever I have to hand or with whats leftover. 


I did a big veggie shop yesterday. I already have rice stored and some pulses leftover from a big batch buy I did the month before last. I stocked up on 2ltr of oil and a tray of 30 eggs and I have cheese dh brough back from the UK stored in the freezer. We're meat feee till Saturday, and I'll be using what I have to hand or leftover, menu planning daily (we're in Algeria, which means two cooked meals and an afternoon tea!).


I normally take time over breakfast to prepare my meal plan. Having a quiet think at the start of the day about what I want to make. It works for me like this in a way that advance menu planning never did.

I'll share my menu's and recipes from tomorrow insha'allah.

And my gift to myself today? I'm going to have some quiet time. A space in the day to reflect, and believe me...in a house this big and chaotic it will be no easy thing to achieve.

it took a while...

two days solid in fact. Negotiating my shonky connection to make a few changes around here was a true test of my sanity, but I did it and the place looks a bit brighter don't you think?

today, ALL of my schooly children have a full day of learning... well, I say learning which strictly speaking isn't what goes on in the Algerian school system but never mind. We've had two weeks of exams with some of the children only having school in the morning and some in the afternoon. I can't believe I home-schooled them all for so long without going completely and uttterly demented. They would have tested the patience of the most pious, and I'm not kidding you. Algerian children are wild. And my children are becoming seriously Algerian

I have nothing much planned today, beyond some mild menu planning....a tight-ish month lies ahead. Our shop has been closed for a month (most butchers close for at least that long after Eid) so I'm going right back to basics with my budget and cooking insha'allah.

I'm thinking of doing a post a day for December.... a budget and menu plan special.
It might keep me on track.. it could drive me madder, quicker!
Who knows?

Other than that, there's nothing much doing except some crochet catch up. DD7 needs to have the poncho I started sometime before the cold weather ends so I need to crack on with it insha'allah.

I have things to share later, so I might yet be back at the other end of this fine and sunny Algiers day....
yeah sunny!  We're almost dried out now mash'allah. Two rooms have stopped leaking and are now forming some decorative water bubbles that look like they want to burst.
Our store room is the one room that refuses to stop soaking up all available water and raining indoors. Which is a problem as fas as food storage goes, but there's nowt to be done if the room is insisting on being a sponge.

Me, I'm just getting on with it. Homesickness is behind me. Seven months of careful saving and a moderate amount of planning are ahead of me. There will be frustrations, and no doubt more bouts of longing for "home" but that's life, innit!

The best laid plans...

My plans for last week were to do some cosying up for winter. We've had a bit of a tough run since Eid, and we've really been questioning our hijrah. We put our best feet forward though and decided to carry on regardless. Tarting the place up a little and hunkering down for some winter comforts was on the cards.

And then the monsoon rains hit. If you live in Algeria you'll know what I mean. You'll know how relentless and oppressive the rain can be. 

It took about an hour. By then the rain had come in via both the open roof and the ceilings. The water on the terrace was shin deep. We're still drying out. We're not sure if the ceilings will hold another rain.

 

Are we depressed?.... yup!

Are we yet again questioning our hijrah? ... Hell yeah... we're only human after all and living nine to a room will do that for you.

We've moved downstairs. All the bedrooms are now unusable. The ceilings are making weird creaking noises.

It's a bit of a downhill groove we're on at the minute but we're trooping on. This is when our best of British stiff uper lip comes in handy. We're down, but not defeated.

I have thought about my hijrah alot since moving here. It'll be three years this coming summer. 

It hasn't always been what it could have. Sometimes it's been better. Right now it's not even coming anywhere close to hitting the mark. But these are tests. Tests of our endurance. This is Allah testing our metal. Seeing how strong we are, and how committed we are to staying here. 

To be honest I'm not so sure I am anyore, and because of our current situation I can't really tell if thats a fleeting emotion brought about by my immediate frustrations, or a deeper problem.

I guess I'll just have to wait things out as patiently as possible and ride the storm a little while longer.

It's also STILL exam time. For some reason, this semester the teachers have decided to prolong the agony and drag exams on for two weeks. But  the good thing is that a two week holiday is looming, so we get at least some time off for good beahviour.

I'm off now to cook some lunch and get some sorting out done. I have a mini battle going on at the dinner table/revision station.... and it could get super ugly.

Oh, and more heavy rain and flash flooding have been forcast for Northern Algeria.

Please make dua that our roof stays put and that we don't get too wet....

.

It doesn't happen often...

but when it does, homesickness hits hard!
And this week it's compounded by the fact that it's not only me. Every single member of my household is feeling the pull to go home. I am confused.

I haven't been able to sleep properly for over  a week, I go to sleep and wake two hours later at most, unable to clear my head. I think the lack of sleep is making it difficult to put things into prespective. I've sought answers from people around me. Asked my children what they  would most like to do. My dh has expressed a wish to go back, but would only do so if I made the choice, as it affects myself and the children the most. I'm fortunate to have been given the space to choose, but the weight of resposibility is weighing heavy on my shoulders right now.

As I'm typing I can hear one of the many Adhan's we can hear here, calling for morning prayers, and I know I would miss not hearing that terribly. But i'm also very much aware of the fact that my eeman is now at the lowest point it has ever been and I can't see a clear way forward.

I miss my Mum and worry that shes not being looked after proerly. I'm concerned that dd19, a promising artist with ambition, hasn't painted anything since we got here. I worry that she's finding it harder to study here and feels that her education has come to a halt. I worry about having to make the decision to either stay or go before a decision is made about dd20's enagement. I'm concerned that my 15 year old won't be able to fulfil his dream to have a career in sport, it is definately look less and less likely here for sure. My 13 year old is absoloutly adamant that he wants to go back (at least this week) and that he is no longer happy here. My 11 year old is probably the happiest at school, and my 15 year old has a good circle of friends that he would miss. But even then they have issues with being here. My 7 year old, is being bullied by her teacher (again), and is feeling pressured to achieve more than she's able to given that this is only her second year in school, and that she's finding it harder to learn to read than we thought she would.

And I wonder why I can't sleep!

it's not that life in Algeria is any harder than life in the UK, but I don't think we have managed to get as much out of our experience here as we could have done. I worry about my children being here and missing out on oportunities they coud have had in the UK, but I worry that if we go back they'll miss what they had here.
I love Algeria, but I'm being palgued with serious doubts. I don't want to make and rash and hastily made decisions.
I'm going to have to think this one through properly.

 The day after tomorrow is Eid. Tomorrow insha'allah will be spent, in part cleaning up the house, baking cakes and getting in some last minute shopping so that we're prepared for guests, and so we can spend some time just flaking out enjoying each others company.

This year though it also involves a great deal of sadness. A friend of my two youngest daughters died suddenly in her sleep on Wednesday night. She literally went to sleep and just didn't wake up. She was 11 years old. And so we're trying to help them cope with their grief, and also calm their fears. I don't want to say much more because it's not my story to tell. But life is so fragile and we lose one another with so little warning sometimes that it should make us wake up to how we behave to one another and how much care we show one another in our daily lives.

To look into the face of another woman who has lost a child is harrowing to say the least. To see the pain you know they feel is so hard. Love the people around you with purpose and with a clear heart. Hold your loved ones close and always part on a goodly word....
You just never know....

Today needs to be a doing day.
Unfortunately doing is not my strong point!
I am a creature built for comfort, and I get distracted, EASILY!.

Today I need to find some spare tarpaulin to fashion a makeshift pane for my glassless window. It was cold last night, and not alot warmer this morning. I could manage for a while longer but because my bubby boy sleeps with us in the room it needs to be tad warmer. His pathalogical aversion to any kind of bedcover isn't showing any sign of abating so I'll have to go another route!

I also need to brave the fridge today, it needs cleaning and looting for semi-useful grub to cook ahead of my new month of housekeeping. My children tend to graze from the fridge without mercy or inteligence, consuming all things useful and leaving me with oddments that are difficult to find any sensible use for.

The sewing machine needs some loving attention today, my poor dd11 needs some new clothes and the only way that's going to happen is if I actually make them. I hate sewing and I'm not sure why. I'm fairly competent, can work without a pattern, and as long as there are no zippers in sight my finished garments are fairly decent. My 7 year old is wearing dresses my 19 year old was wearing at her age, so they even last longer than shop bought. I really can't fathom my aversion to it. Beats me completely, so I'm just going to knuckle down and get on with it without thinking too much.
I hope I have some kind of camera soon to take WIP pics with...
  I have to put some thought into where November's allowance needs to be spent most. I had a poorly month this month. Unexpected expenses do not make for a happy healthy purse. And I have three people in line for the dentist, two kids waiting for new school bags, and some winter wooly making that needs to be financed from somewhere because it's just so much more cost effective than buying ready made. I have two days left and yet again there has been more month than money, so at some point todatay insha'allah I will be sitting myself down with a pot of tea and my notebook and trying to make sense of my finances.

We've just about decided what cakes to make for Eid, and what bits of sheep we'd like to keep.  And it looks like we might have a new sheep taking residence upstairs on the terrace til summer, which will please bubby boy!

The rain is still falling in fits and starts, our store-room ceiling which is directly under the untiled and fairly water-logged terrace has started to bubble... it wont be long before the rain finds it's way in. I may have to find a new home for my dry goods. And if our sheep is indeed coming home we'll have to spruce up his living space, and rescue the rug thats been up there for the best part of the year, which will go to the Lavage (car wash) for a steam clean some time this week insha'allah

And just to mix things up a bit, sons 14 & 13 have just arrived back home in the rain. Sport was cancelled so no school till 1:30pm. The joys of motherhood in Algeria!

Love and peace people
xxx

Winter...

is really starting to make its presence felt masha'allah.

The rains have arrived and it's feeling chilly at either end of the day now. The duvets and bedcovers have come out, and the children are out of their summer clothes and wearing vests and long sleeves.

It's still warm later on in the day, even with the rain, but there has been a definate shift in the weather which means it's time to get ready for a colder spell that will no doubt be welcomed by many after such a long, dry summer.

In our house it means rain proofing ourselves. Algerian houses are built to cope only with dry or hot weather. In the winter, even though the weather could be fairly spring like here in Algiers, inside your house it could feel close to freeezing. And rain? you don't want to know about it truly... I thought a lifetime of living in the UK would have me prepared for that one... but there's something so damned relentess about the rain here.

Anyway, our tarp is up, and it will stop most of it from coming in insha'allah.

We have what is typical of alot of homes where I live, an open roof! If you look at the photo you can see just how exposed we are in the winter months.

I'm planning my winter cooking too, finding new recipes to sit alongside the familiar ones I already use.

 

There's just something so comforting about coming home to a house full of the smells of things cooking,

My children spend alot of time walking back and forth from school so its important to me to have good hearty meals on the table when they come in.
And as much as I rebel against it sometimes, it's what I signed up for right?

 

I make an exception to my normal rule of no sweet weekday afternoon teas in the winter. I think it does the children good  to have a little something sweet to tide them over till dinner time.

I already posted my recipe for Flapjack a while back, but just in case you missed it...

 

And all you need to do is melt the butter, along with the sugar and honey

stir in the oats, and press down into a baking tin. And bake of course until nice and golden.

I like my flapjack to be fairly thick, so that it's moist and gooey in the middle, 

use a tin that gives you the right amount of depth to achieve the fapjack you'd prefer. 

Obviously the thinner it is the crunchier it will be, so beware!

We're heading towards a half term holiday here from Tuesday. November 1st is a day to commemorate the start of the revoloution against the French occupation in Algeria, and it's followed hot on it's heels this year by Eid-al-Adha. Which is why the children are benefitting from this double whammy by getting an extra holiday!

So we're preparing for a break (of sorts) possibly some family days out and a bit of travelling if we have time insha'allah in between everything else that seems to go on round here.

And with what's left of my weekend I'm off to tidy up a little, make some lunch and then insha'allah spend the afternoon with a book and some crochet. There are blankets to be made!

I hope you're all having a restful weekend

xxx

You would think...

that given the fact that I wake up a little after four-thirty every week day morning that I would take the opportunity to sleep in on the first day of the weekend. It was the plan.
 And even though I've had no extra sleep this morning I can't tell you how joyous it is to wake up next to a warm snuggly baby and just have free, quiet time.

The toddler eventually woke, and we spent ages just having warm, giggly cuddles. Then the seven year old made a sleepy appearance and joined me in my bed to read a nature book to the toddler. The 13 year old wasn't far behind, but by then I was ready for someone to go and buy milk and bread, so I was almost grateful for the intrusion. We had a new lock ftted on our front door yesterday, which means my front door (which normaly NEVER gets locked, even at night) can no longer be opened from the outside without a key, this is big for us because we have a never ending stream of neighbours children just walking into the house and making themselves comfortable whenever they like. It also meant that I had to get out of my warm bed to let the seven and thirteen year olds back into the house with the milk and bread. Which is where I met my 14 year old, who had already beaten me to the door. And now I'm sitting here on my sofa, with the toddler playing footie, the seven year old munching warm baguette by my side and sons 13 and 14 are in MY bed watching the TV.... I guess I should be grateful that the 11, 19 and 20 year olds are all still sleeping but it's time to get on with the day already!


It's Friday, and I have backed up chores needing attention. I'm heading out to a friends house later to downlad some stuff onto my laptop ( connection speed with my USB is ridiculous!) but before that I need to cook and bake, and get my boys in and out of the shower in time for salat-al-jumuah. And if you have teenage boys you'll now how difficult that can be!

I'm off now to brew a pot of tea and get myself moving...
before I fall asleep!

We're  finally waving a fond farewell to the heat, here in Algeria. It's been a long hot summer with little  to cool us down, and so the change in temperature is more than welcome, and so is the rain
The children however will be sad to see the end of their leisurely summer days. During the holidays and even after school, children (mine included) tend to camp out on my doorstep, playing, chatting, eating...you name it it all takes place out there.

We're gearing up for winter in my house, looking forward to the seasons vegetables and fruit, trying to plan some winter crafting, and generally loking forward to cosying up a bit insha'allah.

And what better way to cosy up, than with a nice hot cup of something and a cookie....
I know I've been promising recipes for a while, and it's been hard to find a slot in my day to blog with a clear mind and without feeling as if I should be doing something more important. But this small patch of time, after they've all left for school and before the day's chores begin seems to be just right.

Unfortunately for us, this morning is all about waiting to see if the children get sent back home from school.

We are being hit with the threat  of a fresh wave of school strikes, my chidren came back home on Thursday evening proclaiming La Grève! with more relish that I care to admit... they've only had three weeks back!

So I'm off to have some tea before the innevitable happens, and peace is shattered for the day...

Okay I said cookies right?

 

 Peanut Cookies

300g flour

100g ground peanuts

200g soft butter

200g icing sugar

pinch of salt

2 egg yolks

2 teaspoons of baking powder

2tsp vanilla

Place all of the ingredients into a large bowl.

Make a well in the centre and add the egg yolks.

Mix well to form a soft dough.

Roll the dough out onto a lightly floured surface to about 5mm thickness.

You can cut thoe dough with cookie cutters or into fingers, whichever is your preference.

If you're in frugal mode, use the leftover egg white to lightly brush over the cookies before baking, adding a sprinkling of ground peanuts before putting them in the oven on a moderate heat for about 15 minutes.

My egg whites got thrown in the freezer, and we went for the "dredged with icing sugar" look, but have fun dressing these up in whatever way takes your fancy. I did a batch of  these dipped in chocolate and they were fab!

Your cookies should be lightly golden coloured on the bottom and pale on top when done.

Nothing much left to do after that than make yourself something nice to drink and settle back and enjoy the fruits of.

 your labour.

We've been back at school for about three weeks now and I really should be settling into some kind of routine...
It's been hard getting back into a rhythm though after four months of summer holiday.
I've been trying to ignore all the things that distract me from being present and attentive during my children's day. It's been hard... I'm easily and all too willingly distracted from most things domestic, and so it's been a challenge to stay focused at times.
 Three weeks in though and the barest hint of me actually getting my crazy act together is finally starting to show. The children are mildly relieved and I'm sure by the time the winter holiday comes round in December I'll have almost found my feet.

Nothing much else has happened over the past three weeks. Dh has been and come back from the UK....
I have tea, I have chocolate, the 18 month old has quickly learned to use both of these new words with willful abundance and my sanity will be thankfully less questionable for a wee while, at least until the tea and choccy runs out. And if only I could muster enough intrest to load the bread machine with enough bits and bobs to make a half decent loaf so that I had a more interesting vehicle for my Marmite than scraggy old Algerian baguette then I'd be on a bloomin roll luvvies.

However, this is ME, and I have a list of wanna do's longer than I care to admit to and it's time to kick my botty into gear. I remain hopeful that October will be THE month the brain fog finally clears!

I haven't forgotten by the way, the requests for recipes. we've had some connection issues, I seem to be sorted now though so I'll be posting a few later in the week insha'allah. Unfortunately my phone and only source of picture taking died on me and I'm waiting to see if it can be fixed, so I'm not sure what will be happening on the photo front. DD19 and I often go out these days and lust after camera's in our local shopping mall... but that will have to wait. We're tryng to be grown up, by not allowing our wants to overtake our needs.
SO not easy!!!