being kate

For the past two years of my hijrah, I have ambled along. Living life, dealing with crisis, big, small and middling, got pregnant, had a baby...volunteered as a teacher...dealt with the numerous and varied curve balls the dh throws at me.. learnt new skills, made new friends,..lived in three different homes, and as each phase was dealt with and passed, somewhere deep inside there was a niggle that woudn't budge.

I've been slightly off kilter the whole while and didn't realise it till this afternoon when, after nearly  week of suffering the ill effects of a mutant virus and feeling as if I would never feel well again the realisation suddenly hit me full in the face. It's the lack of home-ed that's making everything cock-eyed and out of balance.

Reading through one of my old journals later this evening only served to confirm it... I was so much more productive when I homeschooled. Everything was centred, and we had a a lifestyle based on teaching, learning and exploring faith. And not only do I miss it, I realise now that it's made a profound difference in how I live my daily life...

Of course the children have gained alot of benefit from being at school for the past two years, but we've also sacrificed something huge. And now that I've realised what the problem is, I now need to find a way to heal the wound..which isn't quite gaping but is, none the less in need of a soothing balm insha'allah.

I need to find a way to bridge the gap that a non homeschooling life has made, two years is a long time to have wandered along an unfamiliar road without realising....